Category: Cleanse

This morning I woke up with abdominal cramps – all night wanted to get up to go, but our upstairs toilet is not working so well. I have been taking two of the digestive stimulators at night, but i think it may be too many. I have already gone to the bathroom 5 times. I am only going to take one tonight, and I am also going to take fewer toxin absorber shakes, drinking simply more juice, tea and water.

Part of doing this cleanse is the idea that it will give my digestive system a break, but as of right now, I feel like it is working overtime to pump all this stuff out.

Side note* I had interesting dreams about walking in late to an anatomy and physiology class, taught by my old (passed on) professor/advisor/poet, John Engels.

So, this morning I had a 1/2 cup of juice, and a couple of tablespoons of raw coconut oil. Everyone has their ‘cures.’ The internet is beautiful in many ways, giving me access to a multitude of different opinions and ideas, but what it really leaves one with is making decisions on our own. It’s hard to know who the ‘experts’ are, and what to trust. This goes perfectly with my ‘awarenivore’ experiment – another reason I feel like I should stick it through.

It’s hard not to feel like I am cultivating an eating disorder, but again, this is mind over matter. I just remind myself that I love food, I love my body, and I am truly trying to do good things for it. This is an experimentation in confidence and conviction. Do I believe in this idea enough to stick it through? To not let other people’s (which may also simply be another uninformed opinion) effect what I am doing for myself? This morning I thought, halfway through, perhaps I am subconsciously looking for a way out in reading those things… 😉

To be aware is to have knowledge, be informed and conscious. To gain this, I think one must also gain personal experience. Without that, all one really gives is hearsay.

Hello.

It’s day 2 of the liquid fast. I have been blessed with a quiet Tuesday, a beautiful weather Tuesday, so I am simply working from home, taking my day slowly, and taking time to sit outside, and now, write. 🙂

I am not so much feeling hungry, which is refreshing considering the fruit fast Ashley and I did last autumn was more difficult. I felt like I was starving the whole time, and always wanted more. These fiber shakes, that are the main part of the Blessed Herbs, really fill me up. The first time I took one (first night of the three day prep) I felt like it was super thick, and like I had cement in my stomach. But, now that there isn’t any food in there, and only the shake, I feel pretty empty and clean. And the crazy stuff has already started to come out.

I made a veggie broth with a bit of miso, and mostly because I really enjoy chopping the veggies (kale from the garden) more than I was hungry. I have been alternating between juicing fresh, local apples, and bottled organic pear nectar, or a green juice, again, mostly just for variation.

I don’t want to get sick of fresh apple smell or taste before cider-making season arrives. 😉

I felt amazing yesterday, and was still able to practice on my own, as well as lead a class. Jamie’s parents (soon mine! I hate the word in-laws) came to class, and visited afterward which made me feel even better.

Today has been filled with reading, tea, working, sipping and a bit of writing – I hope to continue down this track.

I’m trying to pinpoint and put words to some of my anxiety, or restlessness, which I think comes from seeing the passing of time, and wanting to be aware of every second, every minute as it passes. As the day passes, as the season passes. I don’t want it to pass, I want to slowly glide along with all of it, swept up in the waves. I guess this would be called, desiring to live in the moment. And as I try, I automatically separate myself. I just need to DO.

I think I came more prepared to this cleanse – it’s the perfect week, no excuses in that aspect. Beautiful weather, which subsides my hunger for the most part anyway, and no particular parties or dinners etc. I am not quite sure what I expect to gain from this, really – it’s a test mostly of my control, getting off of sugar for a bit, as well as wheat and dairy, which I plan to cut back on majorly anyway.

I am watching one tomato in the garden though, and if it ripens before Friday, I may have to make an exception.