When I started school for Ayurveda, it was a cascade of self-exploration. The Summer before, I stopped taking birth control pills, because I realized that was another level of detachment from the nature of my body. I decided I wanted to try a cleanse, as well. For one, to possibly remove excess hormones from my body after 6 years on the pill, and two, I’d never done it before.
As I was shifting careers and intentions, I also felt my body needed a big shift. I was registered to start school for Ayurveda at Kripalu in the Fall, and thought this could be a physical and mental jump-start to a big transition ahead.
A colon cleanse
I was hanging with a cleanse-happy crowd at my yoga studio, and we had heard about a 5-day cleanse that promised to scrape the bad things from our bowels, and also claimed to be ‘ayurvedic.’
This cleanse I purchased in the mail. For about $80, I received a box of powders I’d be eating for 5 days, mixed with freshly pressed apple juice. Some of you may know this cleanse.
So, along with two of my yoga buddies, I started mixing these little shakes, 5 times a day, stopped eating, and started making frequent trips to the bathroom to see what would come out.
When someone tells us something is healthy, we want to believe them. We want to be healthy, we want to feel good. Most of us will make choices to get that.
It is important to learn about your own body, and I think it’s very helpful to have perspective, like a long history or basis of knowledge to be able to bounce off of. We are all individuals, we all live in different environments, and have different beliefs – all which influence the outcome of our actions.
So, well, I did starts seeing crazy stuff come out the other end.
That part was satisfying, in a way. And I also felt very hungry, and I felt light. I lost a little bit of weight – for my constitution – not ideal. It was Summer, and I felt fine, otherwise – could still do yoga, could still go about my day. I was also 24 years old, and could afford to burn the candle at both ends. Or so I thought then.
I decided to stop after 4 days because I was hungry! Starving (literally?) I felt like I had lost too much weight. I did not feel clarity, necessarily – I felt light, but weak, and really not sure if my colon was actually cleaner than it was before.
Success?
Looking back, I can not believe that cleanse was truly Ayurvedic, because if so, it should have been tailored more specifically towards a Kapha or Kapha imbalance. It had too much of the ‘mobile’ and ‘light’ qualities, very much aggravating to Vata and Pitta. And it also completely ignored dinacharya (daily routine), any easing in and out for the digestive system, as well as preparation/balancing for the mind and emotions. Not to mention guidance.
As I have done numerous seasonal cleanses, in a truly Ayuvedic way at this point, I can’t emphasize the guidance piece enough. Each cleanse is different. Each season, each year of your life different. Cleansing can leave you feeling vulnerable sometimes, and a safe container is necessary for success, no matter how simple or gentle you’re going.
Results/After effects
I went off to Ayurveda school. I learned about my constitution, and had a new way of relating myself in the world. As the winter rolled around, and I had crazy dry skin, constipation, and cracking joints. More than I had ever noticed in the past. Not so big of a deal just the, discomfort yes. Though I was young and ‘juicy.’ If I kept up with these kinds of depleting activities, would the symptoms worsen over time? Vata aggravation can be pretty serious, leading to fear and anxiety, nervous system issues, sciatica, osteoporosis…
Was it all the transition in my life? Was it the big, drafty building I was spending a lot of time in that winter? Or the fact I did a very vata-aggravating cleanse that Summer? I’m sure all of the above.
As I was able to reflect on my activities and my diet, I was also able to look back and understand how that cleanse was aggravating to my already light physiology. I was learning that it was not the right one for my constitution. And that it may have contributed to my discomfort that Fall and Winter, rather than bringing me back into balance.
It’s not all about toxins. If that cleanse had even really removed toxins at all. Through Ayurveda, I was learning about my physiology in a new way, as well as truly taking on a more holistic perspective.
Check back in for part 2, where I’ll talk about my first ayurvedic cleanse…guided by the gunas (and my teachers) and what I thought I was cleansing, and what actually changed. (Not to mention my funky tongue, but that was later on 😉 )