I was stuck.
8 years ago I couldn’t get a foothold on what I wanted to do with my life. This is not an abnormal position to be in a few years after graduating from college, but that doesn’t make it feel any better. I was living in New York City and I felt like I was stuck in some strange loop of negativity between money and bills, lots of wine and a few cigarettes, friends and not-so-good friends, new boyfriends and tortured exes – not to mention city living for this country girl just felt wrong. Needless to say I felt pretty lost.
Just before I moved there, an important friend (now my husband…) gave me a book about yoga. I had taken a few classes before and wanted more – so in between my bad habits, I slipped in some yoga postures – in studios when I could afford those $5 community classes, and in my room when I couldn’t.
Yoga became my compass. >>tweet this if you feel me!
Many mornings I’d wake up with a sense of anxiety that I was not in the right place or doing the right things, and this lessened when I could practice yoga. I didn’t know if I was doing it ‘right,’ and at that time it didn’t matter. Yoga was one thing that made me feel good, feel like myself.
If I wanted to break free from the loop of negativity I was in, I needed to figure out what could keep that intuitive window open a bit longer. What was yoga giving me? Time to be mostly still, and quiet. Time to reflect on how my body felt, what my state of being really felt like, and what I wanted it to be like.
The definition of insanity is to do the same things time and time again, and expecting a different result. I am not an insane person, so I listened to the little birdy on my shoulder ||intuition||, and started following more and more what felt right to me. I might have been moving 2 steps forward, and one back, but progress was happening.
These shifts brought me back up to Vermont – not worrying about whether I’d failed at my NYC experience or not. Listening to my intuition, which told me I needed to get out of the city and out of the toxic living environment I was in, landed me right into my first 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training Program at Yoga Vermont. I was home. That doesn’t mean all things were instantly perfect and hunky dory, but it was the first time I had had such a solid feeling of being in the right place.
Pee when you have to pee
My yoga teacher, Kathy McNames, told us ‘Eat when you are hungry, drink when you are thirsty, pee when you have to pee, poop when you have to poop, and sleep when you’re tired.” I did not yet realize that this was my first introduction to Ayurveda.
She also told us to learn which foods that we could eat before yoga practice. She didn’t just tell us which foods (or not to eat), but told us to find out what worked for ourselves.
This kind of reflection was deepening my svadyaya or self study beyond the exploration in the postures. I learned that I couldn’t each much more than a banana or an apple before class, or I would turn myself all upside down and get acid reflux or the dreaded gas, in yoga class.
This was a helpful piece of information. And how to make it my reality. I didn’t know what I was getting into….
Stay tuned for Part 2.
I’m giving a free call about a healing diet and Ayurveda, don’t miss it, register for that here and put it on your calendar now.
Love, Adena
Just want I needed this morning. Thank you!